I’m guessing by now that most of you have heard of the ordeal our daughter Rachel has been going through this past week. It has been one of the most difficult weeks of all our lives, to say the least, and as I write this there is still no real diagnosis, no answers, and no direction for where we go from here. Her condition continues to get worse, for the most part, though she has been in good spirits, at least during the times when her “episodes” are not occurring.
To say that we have been in despair is an understatement. Never have I felt so out of control, especially as a father, and never have I felt such frustration with a situation that I am unable to change. Being sent home from the hospital in worse condition than when she entered five days earlier was one of the most unfathomable decisions I’ve ever seen. It would be different if we were seeing progress, or if we knew that she just had to endure this a few more days and all would be better. But there’s none of that; and so, we search for answers and we wait, trusting that the Lord loves Rachel even more than we do, and that somehow He will work this out, for His glory.
I thought I’d share here what I wrote on Facebook right after we came home from the hospital on Wednesday evening. That morning, on the way to UAB, we got behind a car, on I-65, and no matter how we tried to navigate the heavy traffic that same car always ended up in front of us. They took the same exit as us, and eventually we went our separate ways near the hospital. The car had a “vanity tag” on the back, with PSALM91 on it. Neither my wife or I mentioned it to one another but, we both felt that it was not a coincidence, that the Lord was trying to speak to us through that tag. When we got to the hospital, we looked it up, separately. Here’s what He had to say to us:
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
He ISour refuge, indeed. We trust in His promises, and are confident that through all this He will show His faithfulness once again.
Let me also take this opportunity to express on behalf of our family our thanks for all your prayers, for your words of support and encouragement, and your acts of kindness and generosity to our family. We are so very grateful to have such a loving and giving church family. Please continue to intercede for Rachel, and for all of us, during this difficult time.
We love you, and hope to see you on Sunday.