When You Really Need a Hug
Well, Valentines Day has come and gone, and so many guys are now breathing a sigh of relief. Which reminds me of an old story. There was a fellow who wasn't very good with the ladies, so he decided to go down to the local library to do a little research so he could learn to be more romantic.
He finally found what looked like the perfect book for him, with the title "How to Hug" written prominently on the side. But when he got home, he realized it was actually Volume 7 of a set of encyclopedias. (I realize that there's a generation who won't get that joke, because Wikipedia and Google don't come in volumes like that, but hopefully the rest of you who remember actual books will catch on.)
In reality, I am afraid than in many ways the last two years have caused us to forget "how to hug." As we have discussed several times already, perhaps the worst lasting effect of this worldwide pandemic is that because of "social distancing," we have lost the art of being cordial, friendly and welcoming to others. That includes everyone from introverts who seized the opportunity to pull away--with permission, because of Covid--to those who were otherwise social butterflies, but have been trying so hard to be considerate of others and not invade their space that in time it has left them actually being inconsiderate.
I have noticed this in several social settings, including in our church fellowship. For 24 months now, we have been told to be safe and keep our distance, and now that we are moving to the other side of Covid, we don't know how to read the interpersonal cues for stepping back into one another's lives and making conversation. In so many ways, social distancing has turned us asocial, especially with those we don't already know.
Certainly, we can balance being careful not to spread a virus with being careful to be kind to one another. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, and in fact, with all the mental health issues that have come because of the isolation caused by lockdowns and quarantines and social distance, we need interpersonal connection now more than ever.
I recently came across an article I had saved from the newspaper from back in the early 2000's about a man in Punta Gorda, Florida who went to some extreme measures to meet women. The man had been going around town faking choking episodes, apparently to get attention from women. He would flail his arms and cough in desperation. After a woman would rush over to help, he would shower her with gratitude, hugs and kisses.
The sheriff's office got about a half-dozen calls about "the Choking Man," as the Charlotte Sun Herald dubbed him. Women who had "saved" him described him (in less politically correct times) as being "short and dumpy," in his mid-30's, with a bald spot and moustache. No criminal charges were filed however. "There's been no crime," said the local sheriff. "Our hands are tied here."
No, seeking a little attention and affection is not a crime, though his methods were a little unorthodox, if not downright creepy. His was an extreme case, and it was both sad, and funny. It sounded more like a fraternity prank or spring break dare than anything, but I guess it worked for the poor guy more than a few times, so he kept it up. And he was apparently desperate enough to try just about anything.
The truth is, we all need a hug and a little attention every now and then. We need someone to notice us, to listen to us, to care about us...to love us. It sure helps to have someone around us who will let us know we matter, who will speak a kind word, offer an encouraging smile, or pat us on the back and tell us we're going to make it. And what better place to find those things than in the context of God's family, the church.
My prayer for our church is that our fellowship would provide a safe place for people to come to find support, friendship, attention, and yes, sometimes even a hug. As the body of Christ, we are in effect the hands and feet of our Lord, reaching out to the weary and hurting, the stressed-out and broken, in His name. We love them, as the apostle John reminded us, because He first loved us.
I hope you can be with us this Sunday at Shelby Crossings as we gather together to worship the Lord and share in what it means to be His family. You don't even have to fake like you're choking...and you still might get a hug!
I'm praying for you, as I hope you are for me, and I look forward to seeing you Sunday.
--Pastor Ken
